TACTILE POETRY

by Robert Botn

When you wanna write,

but can´t produce

a single sentence with an ounce of juice,

When you wanna paint,

but can´t even decide

on what colors to use,

When you wanna sing,

but can´t commit to the key you choose,

you loose

That is why

I

every single day

choose not to let fear of failure dictate

whether or not what I create

possesses `that magic something´

that will make people relate

Whenever I feel like a DISASTER

and whatever I´m working on feels kind of sketchy,

and my inner launch ramp just can´t send my ideas high enough

and I bail

and I slam hard,

I close my eyes,

and with a mental roll-in

I SKATE.

I bought my first skateboard

when I was twelve

and since then I´ve strived

to go beyond the obvious

where THEY would never go

into the unseen

the unheard

the unfelt

I paid about six bucks

for that Alva deck

with those yellow neon sculls

those wide trucks

with fat, black tinted wheels

as affordable as it was unforgettable

It sure was heavy,

but from that moment on

nothing could hold me down

nothing could hold me

nothing

I

had found

creative freedom

on wheels,

and immediately discovered a thousand before unseen goals to strive for

on every inch of those suddenly

pleasantly unfamiliar roads

every push fuelled by dreaming

every fall filled with meaning

It would take a while

before I realized the full measure of it´s impact,

but in the same way one

intuitively

recognizes beauty,

tranquility,

the way one knows one is in love,

without really being able to say why,

I knew

that a skateboard was more than

a piece of compressed plywood,

it was the tool I needed

to unleash my inner artist

the introvert avant gard existensialist

that for months

and years on end

would now transform every curb and staircase,

every slab of gray cement

into outdoor studios for my sessions,

where I'd explore abstract concepts

of interaction between the mind,

the board and the results of construction

You see,

to me, skateboarding

was

tactile poetry,

all about

embracing opportunity

applauding diversity

unwrapping ones own and others' creativity

The

limitless possibilities

a seemingly mundane

street

revealed to me

transformed small parts of the world

into

bubbles of creative serendipity

within which

an infinity

of options

were being laid out in front of me

No need to leave

the neighborhood

in order to nurture my affinity

towards the sound of trucks grinding,

feet taking hold

on top of grip tape -

decks sliding

No need to be

anywhere else

than where

my knees,

and ego,

constantly

stood in danger of being bruised

again

where I

could defy the laws of gravity

bend the rules

of abstraction

whilst

waist deep in the interaction

between restless minds of teenagers

keen on sharing

how to ollie, flip, grind, slide,

unconsciously practicing the true meaning of caring

daring to fail

no need to

constantly stand tall

when the triumph of one

was the triumph of all

For we had all heard and responded to the call:

Skate or die!

and so we had to try

to Fulfill the Dream

take that Leap of faith

even though THEY said we were living a lie

THEY called us

deadbeats, dropouts, punks

but WE knew we had what they didn´t:

The dedication of Buddhist monks.

We knew that skateboarding was bigger than all of us

bigger than all who wanted to see the fall of us

Eat, sleep, skate, repeat

every day of every week

Refusing to accept defeat

when confronted by the conformed,

the creatively obsolete

willing to take risks THEY wished they had

honing our craft

in order to

one day master the art

like Alva

like Hawk

like Mullen

like Thomas and Kalis

like Reynolds and Muska

Koston and Ladd

Song and Williams

Huston and Cole

true visionaries

who's creative contributions

in different stages of this ever accelerating evolution

helped

secure the survival of the misfits

generations of kids with

unique voices and talents

but in lack of an outlet

They found it in skateboarding.

For at the base of this community

lies the mentality

that a skater´s first ollie

is nothing short of a revolution,

that PROCESS is not a means to reach a goal, but in itself the solution.

This is for the ones

that feel like your feet

are glued to the ground.

Know you´ve got it in you

to flip your world around.

Remember,

nothing can hold you down

nothing

And for the record,

it's not true when THEY say it's not for you

it's not true when THEY say it's too late

for you to do what you wanna do

it's not true

when THEY say you don't seem to care about your future,

claim that your art´s never gonna get you anywhere

Don't let them scare you,

just get out there and do what you do best

THEY will never come close,

could never imitate

the way you

innovate.

Know that many a great artist

has been met with disbelief

even hate

So, if THEY make you feel second rate,

just know you ain´t

When I don´t know where I´m going,

and start blaming the cards I´ve been dealt,

When I feel sorry for myself,

whining about how the hour is running late,

that the story of my entire creative endeavor

has somehow been misspelled,

when I am unable to paint,

or find the right notes,

or can´t get a single word to communicate,

when I feel like my feet are glued to the ground,

every idea earthbound,

and I find it impossible to create,

I remind myself that

I´m not TRYING to be an artist,

this artistic mindset was always innate

I was twelve

when I started defying the laws of gravity

bending the rules

of abstraction

And now, when I meditate

on that familiar sound

of trucks grinding

feet taking hold on top of griptape,

decks sliding

my inner world once again

transforms into that conceptual playground

where mixed media renders my escape from monotony possible

all dreams and emotions – past and present – within range

and via this sensational roller coaster interchange

I transport my hopes and delights and fears

onto

a canvas

a blank page

or a DAW

The unseen

the unheard

the unfelt

transposed

into the

visual

lingual

or musical

language

of my choosing

And the same way my skateboard magically

cleared my mind of cognitive pollution

my CREATIVE PROCESS

is not a means to reach a goal,

but in itself the solution.

´Cause if the process ain’t gratifying

it drains me,

but when my mindset´s right, it´s satisfying,

and it maintains me

The fear that I´m gonna hate what I make

has finally let go

I´m free of old restraints

Now, I have the guts to

take those risks

make those mistakes,

every brushstroke, word typed, note played

fueled by dreaming

every mishap filled with meaning

When I can´t create

I simply let go

and I SKATE.